Commit suicide: Fact of the agony

submitted 29-07-2010

How do you tell committing suicide the child When they have already been seized, will not it be through telling them what will really make the thing worse You tell they, in protecting the intersection of you and hope of them, you play things how be calculate, then upwards, when do they find out the fact What time is appropriate time How are you close to it

If you tell them whether cause illusion of them and if you tell them late too nearly too, it will blow their trust. Meanwhile, information is in please have a seat inside likes the piece made of a poisonous lead.

About 4 years ago, when our child is 3 and 5 years old, my husband committed suicide. He has depressed one that has not dealt with; He hangs oneself and commits suicide. Before he died, we have already been separated for over one year in a friendly way, and he saw those children on each weekend when he is father dedicating oneself to it. So when the police begin to tell me that they have already found his body, I can't believe it. When they have children, no one commits suicide. Except that they do, he really has.

It is perhaps the strongest thing that anyone will do to tell your child that their father die. In any case, it gives to me. Very quiet, there is KitKats, it is done in a garden on the sunny side. As she promotes chocolate her mouth and my little boy (gaze at me in the course of believing) When, I remember changing the face of my daughter that wrinkle. I consider all day what say and realize I can't tell them lies. I can't say he has already had a heart attack or in a traffic accident, or as because of after,tell I by they really at the time of the facts, tell child when can't stand not telling them facting they any thing peoples other, have a heart attack or the traffic accident will be exposed by the lie regarded as a sentence of great fat, they will never believe me again.

So I very quiet to tell them father of them to become extraordinary disease and die already, he is an angel now, and perhaps float behind us around the tree nearby very much. I have not become more and concrete than that. All strength does not cry for or scream outside to or freaking, but is keeping my calm and normal respect of voice. If I lose it, they will be afraid. In fact, they are really extremely sad.

There are the reports and legal things and a funeral of autopsy and coroner, several weeks of terrible extremely realistic material passed in the stain. When other each person are griefstricken, what I can feel are all rage, this drifts apart people and lets me feel that rage even more. Perhaps it is my anger that makes me maintain. He has already injured his child like this in my rage, he has already made, I, as single parents, he has already helped to extricate oneself from a predicament in too quick decades. Any sympathy took over one year to contribute money.

In direct consequence of his death, book of father that those children became a photo, draw. They make father's desk in their room, we often talk about him. How is his disease, where is he now. I find my myself paradise of talking about a fine hair cloud that I have not believed, because I want to imagine thing which they confirmed. Friends of family staying close; Local Steiner school, they have been the pupil all the time from toddlerhood, the invariable quiet support that gives. We drift along aimlessly, the wind knocks out of us. When I make great efforts to assure them they will feel all right a little more, my daughter used to ask, " When, mother Act as The time " I can't tell her that I do not know.

Pass with time, a bomb not exploding which become the same secretly. Everybody knows their father has already committed suicide. Teacher of them in school, parents, our own confidente, old the intersection of child and besides them everybody of them.

But what do you do The child is not stupid. They can realize the thing not explained; Thing that they can be which doesn't feel very correct. My daughter is already inquiring about just happening. I share the telephone line " He becomes extraordinary and ill " Begin, it sounds as if abnormality and make people not convinced.

But if I tell them what really happen, how will they take it In oneself totally wrap up, like child, will they conclude they have already tried to cause his death Does he keep alive they are not lovely enough I am at a loss. I tell whom them take place whether they message detain at that time till that time, they this disparity oneself child make always what,know something some day. Or serious, they will hear of the wrong way of the weather, blurt outside accidentally. Tell them, they say. Tell them facts. Don't let them fill in the gap by their own pretending. If I wait, I want, know, older until them Perhaps about 12, or 21, 45 Never No, they say. Tell them now, because if you tell them later, it will influence their trust in you. They can't make that conciliate you to conceal them such aly for one enormous thing many years and years old. When they still take shape, so that they can assimilate it and enter them, they need information now, and increase with it, when they are older, but not let it strike them as a poisonous sledge hammer, take shape more. Let them grow up with it, until it becomes a simple fact in them, their own part.

To be frank, I rest assured greatly. Already after develops in a kind of secret and culture denied, I abhor and conceal such a idea of huge fact to my child; Should receive they by fact, give it let's announce on one of roads that they can punish they if. Since their father has nearly one year so far. Their therapeutic some. They have their the 4th and 7th birthday, and we have already moved. Because of the love and everybody's unanimity around them, they become my daughter out of question and believe in back, some that my boy calms down. It's time to let them have information.

The problem is, in the child's culture, the good person has never died. Only evil witch and evil stepmother or eating people's evil spirit, bizarre entity and wild animal. Thank God, then, lion's king. We see it constantly, depend on it as a certain my son who comes into force he is not the only person that father has already died.

But how exceed recently only to hamster and ordinary the intersection of death and the far thing that great grandmother take place and put depressed and idea that commit suicide into you

Van Gogh can use. We read a child's book, Camil and sunflower, this tells Van Gogh's story from visual angle of a young boy of his southern aid in France. The child enjoys the detail poverty, wander up and down, the absinth drinking, reduced ears. The child loves a little blood. They accept to finish for the pistol, the early death child accepts the way of end of all stories. I tell them that he dies, not because of his disease, in his body, but in his head. How is he depressed.

We live nearby at the place where Woolf dies in Virginia. A Sunday, we take a walk along this drowned river of hers; I tell them how her she load stone onto her pocket and story that set about being made, because she is so uncomfortable in her heart. How is she depressed.

How we must probably look like one desolate discussion and weather to make your thought interesting, so that you have not thought directly, and can not make appropriate decisions. I keep likening the heart to some other hearts of the body, the lung, liver and telling them, also, then it, can become uncomfortable, then it, needs care and medicine sometimes.

It comes out at one night after the story before sleeping. How ordinary about depressed talk, regarding it is depressed sometimes, but people become extraordinary with it, very uncomfortable no longer can think how once in a while directlying. Sometimes, if they had the very serious one was depressed for a long time and never see the doctor about it, they may even commit suicide. Suspend. Then my daughter says, " Does that happen on father "

It is different to describe to lighten. This is the most serious talk that we once had. There is no lie; Has not covered up, there is no fakery. They buy information and ask 1 million questions. My time, the place, the method tells them everything. All details, date and place. I emphasize that depressed constantly, and tell them that he like going beyond it in the world of their anyone, which is true. They talk about children, though they are that they are glad I have already told them, but they have never believed firmly and just happened very much. Trust, the feeling united and accepted is enormous among 3 of us, solidify our agreement further.

But obviously, with my son being yet only 4 year old, his knowledge has some interesting responses sternly. It begin he it bring hang into by the dramas of he at school,so shortly after use wool not to have doll hung in door handle he and the classmates of he. His teacher's terror, and his classmate is easy take it. But it passes. All make competence, according to what the child psychologist will have already talked about it. My daughter plans to continue losing and kissing with the child charitably on a weekend now, her method, through giving the child of a withdrawing and giving of the symposium suicidally incident some emotional tools of a plan especially designed. She loves it. My son, now is old enough finally, continue the same withdrawing this summer.

Today, my child is 6 and 9 years old. They are happy, normal child. We are screaming each other as a normal family, and always each other open and honest. They like to talk about their father, the thing of factly, and there are his big photos in their room. Though half of the life to my son dies, he has not been forgotten; I suspect they will forget him. My son feels the gap that that person arranges in accordance with the size more sharply.

When they strike in adolescence, perhaps will have a certain resistance sport, but they may have they absorb information in most of the time of all one's life at least. Meanwhile, what the equal person that they kept them still remains for decades is extremely familiar with correctly. When it is lost and kiss that there are pets, and we must bury a cat or a hamster or a guinea pig, they by making me swell a kind of proud stoicism and accept that do so at the same time, and cry for their loss. But I never can, regret, rise, enclose in ahead them. It will try my best.